I’m going to have a go at describing - and making sense of - the symptoms I have experienced as a result of wireless pollution. In this first part I will describe the initial symptoms as they came upon me.
At the time I had not made the connection to microwaves. If you had asked me if wireless technology was ‘safe’ I would have said “probably not”, but at the same time I was not overly concerned by it. Like most people I rarely thought about it.
And like most people beginning to suffer from microwave sickness I blamed my growing symptoms on everything else going on in my life (and like most people I had enough things to blame).
I didn’t even view my symptoms as ‘symptoms’ per se, and I never thought to link them to something as specific as wireless pollution.
I don’t know if I could have done any control tests anyway. I was living in central London at the time which means I was being bombarded by wireless signals everywhere I went.
Here are some of the symptoms I experienced:
Increasing fatigue and a feeling of mental, emotional and spiritual exhaustion.
Poor sleep. Often waking up with a jolt in middle of night as if electrocuted.
Inability to focus or maintain the flow of ideas, plans, tasks. The future disappeared as a workable concept. All that was left was being stuck in the moment, and not in a Zen way. The moment was a ‘problem’ which needed to be resolved urgently. But what was the problem? Something alarming, that’s for sure. Something that made you want to flee, and do something epic that would somehow make things right again, but where and what and why? I had no idea. I just knew I was on a mission to sort ‘the problem’ out.
I became obsessed with exercise and physical movement (ballet, tai chi, pilates etc) fuelled by the desire to achieve (and recapture) that sense of wellbeing, peace, vitality and bodily integrity that was slipping away, and which I knew these activities should produce.
I was already fit by any normal criteria, and yet I was experiencing an inexplicable decline on some intangible level.
I have since come to realise that microwave pollution causes an inability to convert exercise or healthy living into actual health and vitality.
This is one of the most debilitating effects of microwave exposure (at least it is for me). The mechanisms of regeneration and repair (good digestion, healthy blood, good sleep, the daily endocrine cycles) become compromised. At the time I experienced this as a form of chronic fatigue. On a superficial level I was becoming super fit, and yet inside I was becoming absolutely decrepit. It was like I was being gaslit by my own body.
Instead of a healthy life force driving me along, I just had a nervous, metallic, hollow, caffeine-like energy which was useless for sustaining any kind of meaningful action. The muscle weakness got worse. I began putting my back out on a fairly regular basis. I wasn’t experiencing dizziness yet, but (looking back) I was just starting to sense a slight ‘lag’ (a kind of perceptual latency - like when you have the flu). This made me seek out stillness, rather than activity. Again, this made no sense because I have always been a very active person.
I began to feel as if the gravity had been turned up to 1.5 G’s and half the oxygen had been removed from the atmosphere.
I would escape to the city parks as often as possible, spending time in the deepest parts next to giant poplars and planes, or in rose gardens, or under weeping willow trees by the lake. Looking back, my body already knew to get as far away from microwave pollution as often as possible (and all of my favourite park locations achieved just that), and to ground myself by lying down or doing exercises on the grass (more on grounding in a future post).
But I had still not made the conscious connection to microwaves yet.
Here’s a weird one, I began to crave orchestral music, specifically the tone of orchestral instruments. In retrospect I realise I was losing my ability to hear music, or more specifically, to appreciate it or process the sounds. My hearing sense was becoming as flat and lifeless as the worst possible mp3 codec you could imagine.
I craved tone, warmth, harmony, richness (perfection) … not just in music but in all things. These attributes - these qualities of life (these wholesome vibrations) - were being sucked out of my universe by some inexplicable force.
Everything felt ‘wrong’ in a way that I’d never heard spoken about and could not even conceive of myself (at the time).
The very canvass of daily life - of basic waking consciousness - was becoming ragged, wretched, washed out in some inexplicable way. Just being conscious in the here and now was no longer a delight…. or even tolerable …. or even a safe place to be. And in a way I had already fled it, and moved on ahead in time to a future existence where being alive felt good again. Where this inexplicable ‘wrongness’ had been fixed.
But with the present moment now hollowed out and abandoned like an empty apartment, I was left with no resources in the here and now to actually get me to that future life. I had become unstuck in time, missing from my own story board, a refugee from my own timeline.
These are some of the initial symptoms I remember from that time. They were not as severe and tangible as the symptoms that would develop later on (which I will describe in a future post). My overall sense was just of having the bottom fall out of my life, and of being debilitated and desperate to ‘escape’ and ‘fix things’, but with ever-decreasing resources to actually do anything about it.
Looking back, I had very little ability to look at my situation objectively or make plans, let alone execute them, because just dealing with the feeling of being poisoned was so immediate (and so unfathomable) that it consumed all my attention, as if I was being tasered continuously. And I now realise I was.